


Midnight Sun A Magicians Anecdote

by glittergelpen



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Comedy, Crack, Edward Cullen is a magician, Edward is basically that snail meme, Forks High School (Twilight), I don't want to ruin it but, Just Friends, good ol fashioned crack, no vampires here, twilight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25526455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glittergelpen/pseuds/glittergelpen
Summary: "What are you going to do? Now that you know the truth about me?""Whatever Eddie Murphy did when he wrote party all the time"
Kudos: 3





	Midnight Sun A Magicians Anecdote

**Author's Note:**

> tw for mentions/act of throwing up

I was sick. Definitely sick. Watching the other students move their pencils across paper was nauseating. The dull ticking sound I could hear from the clock in between my teachers' voice. It was driving me insane, and the pounding in my head only made my stomach hurt more. I tried to think of dinner the night before. Did I eat anything bad? No. Esme had made stew, even if she wasn't the best cook it was hard to mess up stew. 

When the bell rang I felt the churning of my stomach. Like it was a bubble waiting to be popped. Maybe I could just sneak off during lunch hour. Or maybe take a nap. Ditching actually seemed like too much work for once. Once I was out in the hallway I was bombarded by Emmet.

“Edward, what the fuck, you said we would-” Emmett cut himself short as he took in my appearance. 

“Oh my god, you look awful”

“Thanks”

I had completely forgotten that I was supposed to help Emmett in the library this morning. He was hosting a party while Esme and Carlisle were going to be gone two weeks from now. He had demoted me from decorating committee to flyer duty. Partly because he realized Alice would do much better on decorations and also because I was the only one of us who knew how to use the big printer. 

“Are you sick? I'm sure we can get you home man, like you are borderline disgusting right now”

“ _Thanks_ ” 

I said again this time with a bit more punch. Hoping he'd get the message to shut his mouth. Emmett besides being a fucking goliath of a highschooler, had the thickest, meatiest skull I had ever had to look at. He said he would walk with me to the cafeteria but he was soon swept away by other students. People saying hi to him when he passed, and eventually being pulled aside by some girl asking about the party. 

This was all getting ridiculously out of hand. As soon as our parents had announced the trip they were taking Emmett had immediately put his plan into action. He even convinced the rest of our siblings to help. I eventually agreed as well. I didn't want to be in the center of another family political battle. I was very bad at stating my claims past “ _I don't want to”_ and _“I don't feel like it”_

I could see in the distance that Alice and Jasper were just headed through the cafeteria doors. The two were always together, best friends, partners in crime, dynamic duo of the decade. Jasper was still stiff around the rest of us. Going through the foster system was rough, landing with the Cullens was just a different kind of rough. Jasper was like dog that would only let Alice pet him, but he wouldn't bite if you gave him food. Even in an adoptive family I somehow ended up as the odd one out middle child. Things weren't always bad, in a matter of fact my siblings were the only ones who still talked to me at school. 

They did their best to get along with me. I knew I could be difficult. I had but one interest. One passion. One love, that consumed every thought and fiber of my being. That burned into the crest of my soul and made me feel warm. Like how a vampire would thirst, hunt and beg for blood I did the same. It was such a primal and instinctual act, it freed me from my past and ingrained itself into my present. It was magic. 

Literally magic. When the Cullens took me in a couple years ago I started using magic as a coping mechanism. Carlisle had a deck of cards on the kitchen counter the night I got to the house. I remember him sitting with me, trying to talk to me about the house rules. I just had to get my hands moving or I would have gone buck shit wild. I started shuffling the deck, trying listening to him talk.

This would soon transform into a more current reflection of my relationship with the slight of hand. One that consumed most of my time and was a constant point of argument in all of my relationships. I admit, I can be annoying and persistent in my interest. Coupled with my already bad social capabilities I made for quite the annoying friend, study partner, brother and son. It was either magic or I went back to huffing dusters. 

I had a hand over my stomach as I entered the cafeteria. I was doing my best to stand up straight but even that took extra effort. My mind was rambling, my stomach was a mess of bubbly knots and I was the last one to make it to the family meeting. Family meeting was another phrase for eating lunch with my siblings. 

But then I faltered a bit in my steps. A girl I had never seen before was sitting with Angela Weber and Jessica Stanley. Angela was usually polite and nice, but Jessica was one to brush off my cards tricks quickly. She hadn't always been like that with me, but I had to find out the hard way that Jessica was not a fan of tricks involving animals or animal blood. Even if the animal blood was fake and it totally wasn't your fault that you got it all over her brand new mini hand bag. 

I felt myself staring at this new girl for a little too long. There was no way she wasn't new. People moving out of Forks wasn't rare, but moving in? I liked the rain, the gloomy clouds and morning fogs but I don't think the 230 out 365 days of no sun was enjoyable for most. Our eyes met and I slowly took my gaze off her. Moving my head too fast would probably make me throw up. 

A thought came to me then. She was the only one in the entire school, in my entire life actually. Who didn't know about my magic. The shock value I could have for a trick would be incredible. I had worn that off from everyone else. She had no idea. 

As I took my seat with my siblings I found myself looking at her again and again. I mean it was almost frustrating the amount of ideas I was having. I couldn't properly think any of them through because of how awful my stomach was feeling though. 

“Edward, dude, have you been listening to us?”

Emmett had an exasperated smile on his face. He knew I wasn't listening.

“Yes”

“No you weren't. Look we’re talking about pulling our money together for the party, I’ll still do most of the heavy lifting because this was my idea but do you want to put anything down?”

Rosalie huffed and said,

“He’s not going to give us any money Emmett, he already told you he wouldn't do it if you didn't let him do a magic show”

Which was true. Bribing them did not work anymore. No one really cared about my magic. 

“Guys, leave him alone, he's obviously sick. Speaking of, Edward are you feeling okay?”

Alice’s wispy words were followed by Jasper's deeper more demanding tone. 

“Alice is right, you should go to the nurses office” 

“I don't want to have to deal with Ms.Hammond, she’s weird”

Rosalie rolled her eyes before responding, 

“One stop calling her Ms.Hammond, that's _weird,_ everyone calls her Juila, you only think she’s weird because she is actually nice to you”

I could only grunt in response. It's true that Ms.Hammond was good to me. She never turned down a new trick from me. But something didn't sit right when she would say things like “ _thank you for showing me Edward”_ , like she was mocking me. 

“And don’t go on another one of your crazy tagnets about you think she is secretly making fun of you. She probably just feels bad that you don't have a lot of friends.” 

Jasper said. I took a carrot, leaned in close to his face, and bit down as hard as I could. He didn't like it but the rest of the table giggled. After this my siblings went back to making arrangements for guest lists and the best way to get beer for the party. I swallowed the carrot. Maybe the issue was that I needed to eat. But before the little orange vegetable had made it all the way down my throat I knew it was going to make things much much worse. 

I was trying to hold down whatever was making my stomach fold in on itself. There was nothing more I hated than throwing up. It is beyond disgusting. I had thrown up only four times in my entire life. The first time was when I was in second grade. It was 2:30pm, mid July. I know because I was sitting in the middle seat of the car. The hump seat. The baby seat. The stupid seat. This was when I was with another family who were all auctioneers and loud. God all fuck they were so loud. Anyways I was in the middle of their two other kids, who don't matter at all. I was staring at the radio clock in the front seat. For some reason I kept thinking how perfectly aligned with my eyes the clock was. Which got me thinking about how I would eventually have to become taller, grow up and became an actual human, like an adult. This concept terrified me so greatly that the strawberry milk I had drank 30 minutes prior at the Red Lobster we had gone to was spewed all over the car. Along with of course my popcorn shrimp and mac & cheese. The strawberry milk was most of it though. I still love strawberry milk but I won't be able to drink it for a day or two if I even think about the word throw up. Another thing how come there are so many different words for throw up? I remember when I was reading Ramona and Beezus (terrible books by the way, it's astonishing how both of the girls are unlikable brats) when they said ‘up chuck’, which of course sent me into a panic. I spent six to seven hours finding out all the ways to say throw up and learning the origins of each word. While throw up is the most common so my least favorite in that sense I think. Barf, gag, and drive a truck are my actual least favorites. Drive a truck I think should be another way to say go fuck yourself. It sounds much more fun than just a plain fuck you. A fuck you should be decorated. Like someone very carefully applied a glitter pen to the word. 

Someone nudges my arm. They ask for a pencil.

Its biology? I must have been free associating again. I get stuck in my own head frequently. Something else that my magician's hat frees me from, the torture chamber that is my thoughts. 

Then there in the doorway. It's her, the fresh meat from the cafeteria. I raise my arm to wave but it moves to cover my nose and mouth. I am on the verge of driving a truck. I find it difficult to break eye contact once I make it. That's because a good magician will never let your eyes wander, much like a baseball player never lets the ball out of their sight. 

Mr.Molina is directing the girl to my table, the only open seat in class is next to me. This is perfect. We’ll get to be lab partners. I have an excuse to talk to her and see what type of trick I should do for her. The best tricks in my opinion, are the ones that are tailor made for a purpose, or in this case a person. 

She takes her seat next to me. She doesn't look at me or say anything. I try to but my mouth is refusing to open. I either try to introduce myself or risk throwing up. But I need to at least try to get to know her. It's her first day, I should work on making an impression. Mr.Molina comes by to give us each a vial to examine and take notes on. 

When he gives us our two vials I try to give the girl hers. I also attempt to smile at her but all my movements are just so rigid. I can feel my body tensing up. The girl finally seems to overcome whatever hestriancy she had about speaking to me but I can no longer wait. 

I jump from my seat and run. I don't like speaking to God but I pray that I can make it to the bathroom. The only thing worse than throwing up is throwing up in public. I was lucky. The bathroom was only three doors down from the classroom. I barged in, slamming open the door and barreling into the nearest stall. Hunched over and gagging, the contents of my stomach empty themselves. 

“Edward? Holy fuck is that you?’

“Shut up Jasper” 

  
  



End file.
